What I'll Remember
by JoeyBear1424
Summary: "I suppose that I'll look for the sun because if I can no longer remember a time that I was Bilbo Baggins of Bag End, I don't want to be alive. And the last thing I want to see is the sun. I'll probably remember this time. When the star haired dwarf with the mischievous eyes talked to me. And I'll remember how I wished that I met him before all of this." Implied slash. AU


Nori does not feel reassured when the wizard brings out his escorts that will guide them through this accursed forest. They seem to manifest from the shadows. A hand will appear, the nails much too long, dirt, blood and filth caked under beneath them. And then an arm will appear, sickly pale. Then bit by bit their bodies slowly slink from the shadows, crouched low to the ground. Their eyes are narrowed, their postures stiff. Their hair is matted with leaves, blood, and dirt, greasy and long. The males, they're males as far as Nori can tell have their hair chopped short and uneven. The only one who comes near them crawls on all fours, pausing at Gandalf's feet to bow.

"Stand up my dear friend." Gandalf's tone is gentle but the creature's posture remains stiff as he straightens up.

"Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce you to the company of Thorin Oakenshield. I ask that you and your group escort them through Mirkwood. You still escort through these woods do you not?" Bilbo's eyes flicker over the group, his nose wrinkling. Behind him a dark haired female sneers, her expression pinched as she lets out a whine.

"Sting," She calls, tugging on Bilbo's hand. He jerks it away from her, hissing. It sends the female scuttling back to the group, her expression one part defiant, one part amused.

"Allow me to introduce you all to Bilbo Baggins, better known as Sting to his group. You all know of hobbits do you not?" Gandalf gives them all a rather strained smile. Nori had heard of them. Run out of their homeland by orcs, destroyed and extinct. Yet here they were in front of him. Not exactly the gentle folk he had expected.

One female with milky white eyes jumps back and forth around Dwalin, the only one who's dared to venture away from the group. She keeps letting out delighted cackles as she jumps out of his reach, milky eyes alight with joy. Dwalin simply watches her, his lips pursed in a thin line as she continues her game. The female who tried grabbing Bilbo watches them with a bored expression, scratching her too long nails against the bark of a tree. The males seem far more hesitant to move away from the safety of their group, shoulders stiff as they shift into crouched positions, creeping nearer to the females.

"Do they have names? And how exactly are a bunch of creatures that were known as gentle folk supposed to help us?" Thorin finally asks after a long silence.

"Well you know of Bilbo. The one jumping around Dwalin there is Primula, Lobelia, Belle, Otho and Hamfast. You should not be so quick to judge them Thorin Oakenshield. Gentle creatures in their past life but hard times will change a race." Thorin scowls at the words but says no more, jerking his head towards Bilbo.

"You'll lead us through the forest then?" He merely nods, his shoulders stiff as he offers Gandalf a final bow. Behind him the group of hobbits makes concerned whines as he straightens up. There's a series of clicks and growls exchanged between them and then they're moving, urging for the dwarves to follow them. Gandalf gives them all a final look, his gaze hard.

"Whatever you do, do not make these hobbits feel threatened or make their leader seem weak. For if you do that; they will not hesitate to turn on you. And do not doubt these hobbits. They might be strange perhaps but they know this forest like the back of their hands and will escort you as promised. Now remember what I said and go quickly now before you lose them." And with that they follow after the hobbits.

Bilbo, Nori finds out is indeed the leader. There's no spoken word about it, he simply is. He walks at the front of the group, Primula crawling along the ground beside him. She pauses every few feet, running ahead to sniff at the ground, at a tree. She lifts her head, making a series of clicks and squeaks back to Bilbo. The hobbit hums, repeating something back that Nori's no idea what they're saying. When she's not by Bilbo then Primula trails alongside them; nudging them back towards their group, growling when they wander too far away for her liking. She lingers by Dwalin, humming almost thoughtfully until with a sharp, warning growl from Bilbo she returns to the front.

Hamfast appears to be the second in command, flanking Bilbo's side. The gaze he tosses towards the dwarves is full of distrust, the set of jaw annoyed. Bell disappears ahead of them every few minutes just to reappear, spattered with blood and filth. Lobelia follows after her on these runs, her hands extended outward. As she wiggles her fingers with her too long nails she lets out manic shrieks that seem to echo off the trees.

It's after one of these shrieks that Ori gives a shiver beside him, clutching his journal tighter to his chest. Nori wraps an arm around his shoulder in a poor attempt to comfort him. He was growing a bit tired of the shrieking as well. The two women had run ahead again, leaving Bilbo, Hamfast and Primula alone with them. Bilbo and Hamfast had sat down, preparing to rest for the night. Primula on the other hand had resumed her hand of jumping around Dwalin, delighted giggles escaping her mouth. She claps a hand down on Ori's shoulder, a sad smile spreading across her face as he stiffens.

"You think we speak master dwarf aside from saying our names and the little clicks and squeals and groans. We cannot speak but what's the point of using a language if nobody's ever around to hear it? Bilbo speaks Westron better than any of us." Primula's smile grows sadder and Nori sees his brother's eyes soften.

"You're scared of me. I can feel you stiffen beneath my hand, your muscles growing taut with fear. I will not harm you master dwarf. Just as you were once a proud race we were once a race of gentle creatures. I was not always this way: my mind jumping around, never settling in one place and demanding to always be kept entertained by something. My eyes weren't always useless things to me." Bilbo rises from his spot, his eyes narrowed as he strides towards Primula. Bell and Lobelia have returned, carrying something between them but their gaze remains on Primula who continues to talk until Bilbo claps a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Get away from him." Bilbo's voice is a whisper but it's enough to silence the camp as everyone turns towards the tow of them. Primula lets out a reedy whine, jumping away from Ori as if she's been burned. Bilbo's eyes skim over the dwarves, landing and lingering on Nori as Primula shifts back and forth by him. Finally he runs his fingers through her curls, turning sharply and making his way back towards their group.

They stick to themselves after that. Nori learns to ignore Lobelia's shrieks; Primula's jumping around, Bell's running ahead and even Hamfast's distrustful glares. What he can't ignore however is the glassy look in Bilbo's eyes each night when they stop. While Bell and Lobelia run ahead like always and Primula scales trees, Hamfast settles next to Bilbo but neither of them speaks. It continues on like this for a week until finally Ori sums up the courage to take an extra apple over to Bilbo.

"Here." Nori sits back, watching as Ori offers it to him with a nervous smile. Bilbo looks at the offered food as though Ori's just tried to hand him the Arkenstone. He closes his hand around the apple, shaking his head and shoving his hand back towards him.

"It's for you. Take it." Ori insists. Bilbo swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. Nori follows the motion with his eyes as the hobbit wraps filthy fingers around it, inclining his head. The apple is cut up slowly, pieces handed to the others one by one. Each time a piece is put in the hand of a hobbit they sigh, squeal or in Primula's case let out something that could be a coo. There's something childlike about them as they eat, something innocent and Nori catches himself smiling as Bilbo pushes the last piece into Primula's hand. There is no more talk after that, no more laughter or sounds between their escorts of the company after that. They only sit.

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><p>He's on watch and tries desperately to ignore the eyes that seem to peer at him from the dark along with the shuffling. The other members of the company have long since gone to bed, their snores nearly drowning out the shuffling. The hobbits are curled up into a pile, their limbs tangled together. The only one who's not present in their pile is Bilbo. As Nori smokes his pipe he attempts to see if perhaps he's hidden somewhere among the bodies. What he doesn't expect is the nearly silent footsteps that settle beside him.<p>

"I remember a time, very faintly when I was a gentle creature. When I wasn't living in a forest that has a sickness lying on it: killing other living creatures to eat them, to survive day by day. Living with the last of my kind and waiting for the day that they too die. Waiting for the day when I fade into nothing more than a legend." Nori remains silent, his pipe clenched between his teeth as Bilbo settles next to him.

"I remember my mother loving me, a garden and a comfy armchair. I can remember this warm hearth by which I'm sure my parents held me some nights as a faunt. But those are nothing but memories."

"Do the others, do they remember a time like that?" Nori nods towards the pile of sleeping hobbits.

"I believe it will a few more months and Primula will become feral. As for Bell, I fear that I'm losing her already. Hamfast distrusts everyone even Gandalf is not trusted by him. Lobelia, I lost her when the orcs took her husband and son."

"And what will happen when you can no longer remember a time like that?" Nori asks. Bilbo's eyes flicker from Nori's face towards the tree tops, his eyes cloudy.

"I suppose that I'll look for the sun because if I can no longer remember a time that I was Bilbo Baggins of Bag End, I don't want to be alive. And the last thing I want to see is the sun. I'll probably remember this time. When the star haired dwarf with the mischievous eyes talked to me. And I'll remember how I wished that I met him before all of this. Or that none of this had ever happened because then I wouldn't have wasted this time talking to him about all of this."

"I'll remember how I wish that I knew his name and that he knew me as more than just an escort through a forest with a sickness on it. Who knows more about me than my name being Sting because I slayed orcs without mercy for killing my mother and each of them shrieked as I sliced through their slesh and tore off their heads. That's what I'll remember."

* * *

><p>I didn't mean for it to get so dark when I originally started writing it. I hadn't been able to write anything new for either With All my Heart or Children of My Heart and was tempted to beat my head against the wall. Today has been really stressful hence this fic was born. In my original plans Bilbo and the other hobbits had realized that the spiders were coming and were going to attack the dwarves so they told them to run and get killed themselves. Then Nori finds out later in his cell. But I didn't like it.<p>

Instead this was born all because of an overactive imagination and the Desolation of Smaug.


End file.
